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Avoid These Mistakes in a Tough Conversation
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Tip
Difficult conversations are difficult for a reason, and when you’re anxious or stressed out, it’s easy to say the wrong thing. To keep the interaction from going sideways, avoid these common mistakes.
- Don’t assume your perspective is obvious. Steer clear of phrases like “clearly,” “obviously,” or “without a doubt,” which are likely to insult your counterpart.
- Don’t exaggerate. Skip any statements that start with “You always…” or “You never…” They’re rarely true.
- Don’t challenge someone’s character or integrity. You’ll just make the person defensive if you tell them they're “unprofessional,” “wrong,” or “unethical."
- Don’t tell others what they should do. People feel judged by “should” statements. Try saying “You might consider...,” “One possibility is...,” or “Have you thought of...?” instead.
- Don’t say “It’s not personal.” Recognize that even when it's not personal to you, it might be for the other person.
Translations
🇨🇳 避免在艰难的谈话中犯这些错误
困难的对话之所以困难是有原因的，当你焦虑或压力过大时，很容易说错话。为了避免交互出错，请避免这些常见错误。
- 不要认为你的观点是显而易见的。避免使用“清楚”、“明显”、“毫无疑问”这样的短语，因为这些短语可能会侮辱对方。
- 不要夸大。跳过任何以“你总是”或“你从不”开头的语句:它们很少是真的。
- 不要挑战别人的性格或正直。如果你告诉他们他们不专业、错误或不道德，只会让他们自我防御。
- 不要告诉别人他们应该做什么。人们感觉被“应该”的陈述所评判。试着说“你可以考虑……”“一种可能是……”或“你想过……吗?””。
- 不要说“这不是针对你个人。”要意识到，即使这不是针对你个人的，也可能是针对其他人的。
