Seven tactics for resolving technical disagreements

Engineering is a team effort. Engineers learn from one another, challenge and improve upon each other's decisions, and depend on one another for code reviews. But what do you do when you and a coworker have a technical disagreement, and you just can’t seem to get anywhere?

I like to work with individuals who demonstrate maturity, and the ability to navigate disagreements and resolve them productively signifies maturity to me. Here are some tactics that I like to use to resolve technical disagreements.

• strive for objectivity
  • Try to uncouple your ego from the discussion so you don't feel threatened by other people's ideas.
  • Shift the dynamic of the conversation from “me vs. you” to “us vs. a problem”.
  • Try to articulate and agree on your goals.
  • Draw up lists of pros and cons for each solution you're considering
• take time to prepare your case
  • Discussions are not productive if your grasp of an idea is still fuzzy.
  • Everyone involved should take some time to think through their points of view
  • be able to clearly explain their line of reasoning.
• understand the other person's ideas and Points
  • Make a good-faith effort to see their point of view.
  • Remember, your teammate has the same good intentions that you have.
  • Get curious. Ask as many questions as you need to ask until you understand the other person’s proposal well enough to communicate it back to them.
  • This will let you address each point directly or sometimes come around to the other person's perspective.
• identify and acknowledge your assumptions
  • uncertainties, and gut feelings. “I guess what I’m worried about is…” and “I’m not sure I understand why/what/how…” are good ways to begin this line of thought
  • This will open the door for collaboration and let your team help you address your concerns
• say you can convince me if
  • list what things the other person needs to prove to make you change your mind
  • This exercise will help you both be objective, and will also force you to think through and understand what really matters to you
• step away for cool-off period
  • If discussion gets heated then emotion is probably interfering with your ability to think and communicate clearly
  • Agree to take a break for a few hours or a day and then try again later.
  • If you feel embarrassed about getting emotional, it can help to acknowledge what happened
  • Sorry I got a little worked up back there! You can tell I'm passionate about this, but I don't want to let emotion affect our decisions."
  • Most people can relate.
• just build it
  • If discussion doesn’t seem to be getting anywhere, try proving your idea with code.
  • build a prototype, run performance tests, write pseudocode, or ultimately just implement one of your ideas as an experiment
  • perform a team assessment to decide if it’s a success or failure based on agreed-upon criteria
  • You can always rewrite it later if it turns out to have been the wrong decision.
  • And wouldn't it be great if the other person's idea turns out to be successful?