When Working with Someone You Don't Like, Err Toward Kindness
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Tip
Not everyone at work is going to be your friend, and some relationships are easier than others. So, what do you do when you’re stuck working with someone you dislike?
First, accept that you might need to be the grown-up
. Don’t succumb to unproductive behaviors, like getting overly defensive, ignoring the person out of spite, excluding them from a meeting, or sending a passive aggressive email.
Instead, identify behaviors that will serve you, and them
. You might remove yourself (politely) from unproductive conversations, confront them respectfully and privately to discuss the problem before it festers, or set clear boundaries around your time and expectations.
At the same time, try to focus on what they bring to the table — not on the things that upset you about them
. You might even consider whether you can give them something — introductions to others in the organization, help building a skill, or meaningful feedback on their work — that will alter the dynamic between you.
You may not feel like doing these things, especially if the person rubs you the wrong way, but the investment may be worth it. The most successful people find healthy ways to work with personalities they wouldn’t otherwise choose to have in their life.
Translations
🇨🇳 当你和你不喜欢的人一起工作时,要表现得友善
不是每个同事都能成为你的朋友,而且有些关系比其他的要容易。那么,当你和不喜欢的人一起工作时,你该怎么办呢
首先,接受你可能需要成为成年人的事实。 不要屈服于无益的行为,比如过度防御,出于怨恨而忽略对方,不让他们参加会议,或者发送一封消极的攻击性邮件。
相反,你应该确定那些对你和他们都有帮助的行为。你可以(礼貌地)从没有结果的对话中退出,在问题恶化之前恭敬地私下面对他们讨论问题,或者为你的时间和期望设定明确的界限。
同时,试着把注意力集中在他们给你带来的东西上——而不是那些让你对他们感到不安的东西。 你甚至可以考虑是否可以给他们一些东西——介绍给组织中的其他人,帮助建立一种技能,或者对他们的工作进行有意义的反馈——这将改变你们之间的动态。
你可能不想做这些事情,特别是如果有人用错误的方式惹恼了你,但投资可能是值得的。 最成功的人会找到健康的方式与他们生活中不愿拥有的个性共事。